Dear Family and Friends,

So Christmas has come and gone. It is time for us here to start looking forward to the big new year looming up ahead.

I hope your Advent Season and Christmas was filled with joy, peace, love and laughter and that you were surrounded by friends and family. Thomas and I were alone together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and then went over to his parent’s home for the traditional family reunion.

A few things these past few days have made me think.

First, how special a quiet and still Christmas Eve really can be.

We had no stress, no hectic, nothing to prove to anyone and no “issues” to confront. I am really blessed. We were surrounded by peace, love and happiness.

That same evening, a friend of ours had his car totaled when a drunk driver took out his car and that of an elderly couple. All of them on their ways home. An evening with stress and loss. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but the financial and emotional loss is great.

Second, how blessed we are to be together.

Today, I took over a Christmas card to an elderly neighbor. She is such a wonderful lady and we really enjoy seeing her when we are out and about. Usually that is in spring and summer, when it is warmer. She is no longer able to deal with the snow and cold, let alone the dangers of falling on the ice in winter.

I waited until today, sure that she had been with her family the past days. She told me that she had spent the holidays alone this year in the apartment across the street from us. Quickly, she assured me that this was her idea and that her daughter was so busy with her own life, she didn’t want to inconvenience the family. She knew that since she cannot drive, they would have to pick her up and then bring her home and she didn’t feel that the extra driving was worth it. They live 30 minutes away. Had we known, we would have invited her to our home, small though it is, but she assured me that she had had a quiet holiday season herself.

Thomas and I always say, we should stop by and say hi but life gets in the way for us, too. We work and are gone long, we don’t know when she is home, we don’t want to intrude. There are so many excuses. Not a single one is a good reason.

No one should be alone on Christmas unnecessarily.

Finally, receiving the gift of nothing.

I don’t need anything. Sure, I have a list of “wants” as long as anyone else’s, but not one of those “things” is a “must-have”. I don’t even want “nothing”. New concept? Thanks, I thought it up. Let me explain.

Dominik, Thomas’ son is 17 going on 70. He feels the weight of owning as much as others feel the weight of wanting. Ask him if he wants anything for Christmas and he will recite how little things mean to him. On one hand, he’s completely right, he doesn’t need anything. On the other, he cannot accept getting or having things and truly value them. I remember that stage in life and now that I can look back on it, I truly can say that I don’t ever want to go back to that.

I get the minimalism lifestyle and mentality. I truly do. But I also have realized how freeing it is to be able to say “thank you” when I receive a gift while at the same not feeling let down if there isn’t one. There is no expectation either way. It makes my life so much more relaxing.

It also takes away my pseudo-guilt and self-judgement. What, you got me a present and I have nothing for you? I have something for you but you don’t have something for me? Will you still love me? Can I still love you? Does this change our relationship for all eternity?

I’ve started to master “gracious acceptance”.

I like it. I might copy-write it (I did not read this in a self-help book or religious tract). Hear me out.

I have read pages and pages from people asking what their response should be when someone gives them a gift or expounding on the virtues of the giftless world or offering explanations and arguments to share with potential givers (just in case).

After much thought I am returning to what I was grown up to do. Say thank you and mean it genuinely from the heart. That. Is. It. No preaching, no conjoling, no “no-you-shouldn’t-have-and-I-mean-it”, no phony thank you looking like I drank vinegar for breakfast.

Just this: Thank you very much for thinking of me. It truly means a lot to me.

Because it does. Every. Single. Time.

Even if it’s just warm socks and underwear (you can never have too many warm socks).